Home Sweet Home

Ahh, home at last. How sweet it is! I just arrived here in Colorado last Friday evening. It's everything I hoped for, as well as a few surprises. The first surprise was at how angry I was to be leaving Africa. I had worked so hard to get to Africa that a part of me was angry to be leaving. I have so many wonderful friends, a church I truly love: all the people i know are truly beautiful. I already miss them so much and was angry to be leaving.

Sad I expected, angry took me by surprise. Talking to my friend David on Sunday, I was told that he still feels this way every time he leaves Jordan to come back, even after 7 years. Where you now live becomes home and everything you want and need is already there, yet you desire to be around family and friends back in the states and you get angry that you have to leave one to be with the other.

You discover that what you looked to as going home is really leaving home. You are now a tourist in a place that was once home. There is a familiarity about it and as you stand there soaking it in you start to remember what once it was like.

You also know that you are not on vacation, that there are things expected of you and you have to spend a lot of time talking about everything that you wish you were back home doing.

It's exhausting (even thinking and preparing for it) and this makes you angry. So then, how does one deal with this? I don't know, but I intend to find out since this will be something that happens quite often. I intend to find a way to leave the anger behind and just be grateful that I am finally where I longed to come back. I get to be with my family and with my friends. I get to do so many cool things.

I have already been spoiled far beyond my imagination and it has only been a few days. I have numerous road trips planned and know that this will be such fun. I have already received about a thousand hugs and kisses from my niece, who has permanently glued herself to my hip (at least when her mom lets her - she would sleep with me if she was allowed).

To be honest, being able to hug, kiss and spend time with my neice is the one thing I longed for more than anything else here back home. I had times that I had a dream about her and I would wake up crying. I intend to soak up every moment I get with her, even the constant "Emily, Emily do this, Emily look at this, Emily help me, Emily, Emily, Emily..." For I know that not long from now I will once again miss this.