I sat down to write a letter to a friend who really hurt me. As I wrote I thought of all the people who have hurt me this week, mostly due to broken promises. Just this week alone I had 3 people contact me and make plans with me just to completely forget me. I have had many difficult conversations this week, as well. Many people have said they miss me, they want more of a friendship, they want to get together, they want to talk to me and yet they never do. Instead I’m left hurt.
As I was writing the letter I thought of all the times I’ve hurt people with broken promises & empty sentiment. How many times do I do this and never even realize it? I say I really miss people and want to talk: sometimes I really do and other times I only mean it in the moment. Don’t get me wrong, most of the time I really do mean it. And many times I mean it, but get busy and forget that I had said I would set something up.
How many times do I say I will do something yet I don’t? Over and over I’ve said I have something to send to different people, and I do, but due to finances I can’t afford to send it. Yet, do they know that, or do they just think I never meant it? And even though it’s a lack of funding that has prevented me from sending the items does this make it okay? Or was I wrong to say I had something that I couldn’t afford to send?
Why do we do this? Why are we so quick to offer help, friendship and sentiment, yet so slow to follow through? It has me question how much is for the other people and how much is for ourselves? Do we say things because we are supposed to or we want to look good, or do we say it because we truly care about them and want to love on them?
I want to be one who says and does things out of love not self-gratification. I want to really mean something when I say it. I want others to know that if I say I want to get together I really want to get together and because I really want to, they can know it will really happen.
Lord, I so desperately want to love others better and to be more of a woman of my word. Help me to shut my mouth until I know what I can truly follow through on. Help me not to make empty promises or give empty sentiment. It would be better not to say or offer anything than to hurt people. And help me not to get hurt when others do it to me. Amen
