Sunday, December 20, 2009
Leaving in January
I am planning to leave in January 2010. I don't have an exact date as of yet, because we are waiting for some details to fall into place. :-)
Friday, December 18, 2009
OC Internship
Those who are interested - check out the OC blog about Lifeworkx oc08Internship.blogspot.com. This is the program I went through in 08 to prepare me for missions. As you can see we had a lot of fun. Oh, yeah, we also did a lot of work. Hmmm, I think I still owe Steve a paper.
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Life is Changing
As hard as packing, getting rid of things and taking care of all the details to leave are, I find the hardest thing to be the grief. I knew I would be sad to leave everyone, I didn't know I would be on the verge of being an emotional wreck. I'm not sure I can explain the grief that I feel. I find myself crying almost every day over something or other. I find myself in the best place I have ever been, with the most wonderful people I have ever known and it is now that I have to say good bye.
Knowing that I have to give up working with Thomas (the boy I nanny) is such utter pain. I'm not sure how I am going to handle leaving him. Do you think he'd fit in my suitcase? It is already hard when we don't get to see each other for a couple of days. The first time I mentioned I was leaving in front of him he started crying and was fussy and cranky for the next week. Now when I mention it he rubs my face, gives me a kiss and a hug, so maybe he is adjusting to the fact that I will be gone; I wish I was. I know he is not my own, but the bond is very similar. The love that I feel for this little boy is beyond measure. I never thought I could love a child the way that I love him. I have grown and healed so much because of him. I am glad to have been his nanny and am grateful for Skype.
Then there is my niece, Taylor. I didn't know her too well until I moved back to the Springs. Now her and I are really close. I will miss getting to see her almost every week or talking to her on the phone. I will definitely miss the "I love you, too, Emily" s. I am so grateful that I have had this past year and a half to get to know her and that she is now old enough to remember me. Why can't my sister just let me bring her with me? Why can't I bring all the people I love with me?
Now, as of yesterday, there is my new nephew, Nehemiah. It saddens me to think that I won't get to know him the way I know Taylor. Or that my family won't get to know my children (when I have them) the same way either. Sometimes the sacrifices seem too much. I do appreciate the fact that God let me be here for his birth, that I got to stare in his eyes and that I get to see him twice more before I leave.
These 3 are the hardest for me, but it is also hard for me to leave my friends and family. I have a better relationship now with most of my family than I have in the past. I have a huge spiritual family that I have dinner with once a week, share holidays with and live in community with throughout the week. They are a life line to me. I have wanted this all of my life and now I have to let go. Of course, there are also my girl's night friends whom I love and cherish (another life line). And my church whom have become another family to me and support me in so many ways. As well as the many other individual friends that I enjoy time and conversations with.
Yes, I am aware that they will all still be family and friends after I leave and I do get to see them for a few months next summer. I know that they will still be a support to me and we will still have conversations. It is just that this won't look the same and this makes me sad, even as it is a good thing. It doesn't help that it is the holidays and many of my friends and family are leaving town, many for a couple of weeks and won't be back before I am to leave. Plus, things are being canceled and the fact that my time with people and doing events that I love to do is short, has become shorter and some won't start up again before I leave, sometimes makes it seem all the shorter. I also know that due to the placement of my birthday between holidays, most people aren't in town for my birthday and often forget to acknowledge it. I understand that none of this is personal or has anything to do with me and am aware that I am loved and none of this means other wise.
Change is just hard and it is even harder when it is your whole life changing. I will not get to do the same things, see the same people, have the same job, live in Colorado Springs, have snow or even cold, eat the same food or even hear the same vocabulary. Things are different. I won't have much of my stuff or have the time for all of the same hobbies. This past year has mostly been a time for rest and recovery; preparation for Africa. I have had a good amount of time to spend with the people in my life and down time. Soon I won't have this. Don't get me wrong this is all good, no it is great, and wanted. I am excited for the future. Different is the goal. That does not make it any easier.
The good news is that this is all normal and a part of the life changing, transitional process. Months from now I will be sharing how excited I am to be in Africa, about the new friends I have and all the cool food I get to eat. I will continue to be relational and put people first. I will love people and share the love of Christ. I will adjust and get situated as fast as I normally do. I will build a life in Africa and will recall with fond memory the life I had in Colorado Springs. And, at some point I will love this life as much as I do now.
But for now, I will continue to allow Him to help me through the grieving and transitioning process; I offer up all of this to Christ and say "Here, all of this is yours, do as you wish". Thank you for allowing me to live this past year and a half and for all of the friends and family you have loaned me, for however long that may be.
Knowing that I have to give up working with Thomas (the boy I nanny) is such utter pain. I'm not sure how I am going to handle leaving him. Do you think he'd fit in my suitcase? It is already hard when we don't get to see each other for a couple of days. The first time I mentioned I was leaving in front of him he started crying and was fussy and cranky for the next week. Now when I mention it he rubs my face, gives me a kiss and a hug, so maybe he is adjusting to the fact that I will be gone; I wish I was. I know he is not my own, but the bond is very similar. The love that I feel for this little boy is beyond measure. I never thought I could love a child the way that I love him. I have grown and healed so much because of him. I am glad to have been his nanny and am grateful for Skype.
Then there is my niece, Taylor. I didn't know her too well until I moved back to the Springs. Now her and I are really close. I will miss getting to see her almost every week or talking to her on the phone. I will definitely miss the "I love you, too, Emily" s. I am so grateful that I have had this past year and a half to get to know her and that she is now old enough to remember me. Why can't my sister just let me bring her with me? Why can't I bring all the people I love with me?
Now, as of yesterday, there is my new nephew, Nehemiah. It saddens me to think that I won't get to know him the way I know Taylor. Or that my family won't get to know my children (when I have them) the same way either. Sometimes the sacrifices seem too much. I do appreciate the fact that God let me be here for his birth, that I got to stare in his eyes and that I get to see him twice more before I leave.
These 3 are the hardest for me, but it is also hard for me to leave my friends and family. I have a better relationship now with most of my family than I have in the past. I have a huge spiritual family that I have dinner with once a week, share holidays with and live in community with throughout the week. They are a life line to me. I have wanted this all of my life and now I have to let go. Of course, there are also my girl's night friends whom I love and cherish (another life line). And my church whom have become another family to me and support me in so many ways. As well as the many other individual friends that I enjoy time and conversations with.
Yes, I am aware that they will all still be family and friends after I leave and I do get to see them for a few months next summer. I know that they will still be a support to me and we will still have conversations. It is just that this won't look the same and this makes me sad, even as it is a good thing. It doesn't help that it is the holidays and many of my friends and family are leaving town, many for a couple of weeks and won't be back before I am to leave. Plus, things are being canceled and the fact that my time with people and doing events that I love to do is short, has become shorter and some won't start up again before I leave, sometimes makes it seem all the shorter. I also know that due to the placement of my birthday between holidays, most people aren't in town for my birthday and often forget to acknowledge it. I understand that none of this is personal or has anything to do with me and am aware that I am loved and none of this means other wise.
Change is just hard and it is even harder when it is your whole life changing. I will not get to do the same things, see the same people, have the same job, live in Colorado Springs, have snow or even cold, eat the same food or even hear the same vocabulary. Things are different. I won't have much of my stuff or have the time for all of the same hobbies. This past year has mostly been a time for rest and recovery; preparation for Africa. I have had a good amount of time to spend with the people in my life and down time. Soon I won't have this. Don't get me wrong this is all good, no it is great, and wanted. I am excited for the future. Different is the goal. That does not make it any easier.
The good news is that this is all normal and a part of the life changing, transitional process. Months from now I will be sharing how excited I am to be in Africa, about the new friends I have and all the cool food I get to eat. I will continue to be relational and put people first. I will love people and share the love of Christ. I will adjust and get situated as fast as I normally do. I will build a life in Africa and will recall with fond memory the life I had in Colorado Springs. And, at some point I will love this life as much as I do now.
But for now, I will continue to allow Him to help me through the grieving and transitioning process; I offer up all of this to Christ and say "Here, all of this is yours, do as you wish". Thank you for allowing me to live this past year and a half and for all of the friends and family you have loaned me, for however long that may be.
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Concert Update
Many of you have been asking how the concert went. It was amazing! One of the best nights I have had in a long time. It was really great to hear more of Stephanie's story and her heart; I learned some things that I hadn't known. It was also great to hear so many of her songs live. I loved getting to share my heart with others and what God is doing, as well.
My friends and family did an amazing job with the decorating/set up and food. The soup was so amazing that one particular person requested that we make a cook book with the recipes to sell as a fund raiser. What a complement! Course I really can't take the credit, since it was my friends and family who really made the amazing soups and breads. I am taking this idea into account and am considering making a cook book with my friends (they have hundreds of great recipes) and may sell them each time we do a benefit concert.
I have to admit that I was quite stressed out before the concert. There were times that I was just sure we wouldn't get it all done and I had no idea how God was going to give me enough help the night of the concert (most people weren't too excited about giving up their entire afternoon and evening and I can't say that I blame them). I was also a little nervous that we wouldn't raise enough to cover the costs of the concert; in spite of the fact that most things were offered to me for free.
I should know now to be anxious in nothing and that God is faithful and just. I had only 3 weeks to advertise and get things done, yet the night of the concert I had just the right amount of help and everything fell right into place (surprise, surprise). We had more than enough food, beverages and supplies. Plus, the event raised almost $1000!!!! Praise God, praise God, praise God!
The atmosphere of the event was exactly the way I had envisioned it. I'm not exactly sure how to put it into words, but we had tables set up for people to eat at and be more relaxed. I wanted it to be elegant, but comfortable. It wasn't like your typical concert it was much more elegant than that, with absolutely great music. Course it always is when Stephanie is playing/singing. Quite a few people stated that they would like to know next time we do one.
The best part to me was knowing how much support I have. I am beyond blessed with amazing friendships and family. So many of them pulled together to make this event possible and I am thankful for each and everyone of them; I could never have done this without all of them.
Another cool thing is that More than Music has decided to use this idea and do Benefit Concerts on a regular basis to help non-profits raise money for their ministry. They will be offering this throughout the nation, so if any of you are interested, be sure to take them up on it. They cover part of the costs, which is very generous.
I also want to thank all of you who gave me support; donations, guidance, prayers and finances. There would be little point to this concert if it weren't for you. Thank you for believing in me and the ministry God has for me.
Emily
My friends and family did an amazing job with the decorating/set up and food. The soup was so amazing that one particular person requested that we make a cook book with the recipes to sell as a fund raiser. What a complement! Course I really can't take the credit, since it was my friends and family who really made the amazing soups and breads. I am taking this idea into account and am considering making a cook book with my friends (they have hundreds of great recipes) and may sell them each time we do a benefit concert.
I have to admit that I was quite stressed out before the concert. There were times that I was just sure we wouldn't get it all done and I had no idea how God was going to give me enough help the night of the concert (most people weren't too excited about giving up their entire afternoon and evening and I can't say that I blame them). I was also a little nervous that we wouldn't raise enough to cover the costs of the concert; in spite of the fact that most things were offered to me for free.
I should know now to be anxious in nothing and that God is faithful and just. I had only 3 weeks to advertise and get things done, yet the night of the concert I had just the right amount of help and everything fell right into place (surprise, surprise). We had more than enough food, beverages and supplies. Plus, the event raised almost $1000!!!! Praise God, praise God, praise God!
The atmosphere of the event was exactly the way I had envisioned it. I'm not exactly sure how to put it into words, but we had tables set up for people to eat at and be more relaxed. I wanted it to be elegant, but comfortable. It wasn't like your typical concert it was much more elegant than that, with absolutely great music. Course it always is when Stephanie is playing/singing. Quite a few people stated that they would like to know next time we do one.
The best part to me was knowing how much support I have. I am beyond blessed with amazing friendships and family. So many of them pulled together to make this event possible and I am thankful for each and everyone of them; I could never have done this without all of them.
Another cool thing is that More than Music has decided to use this idea and do Benefit Concerts on a regular basis to help non-profits raise money for their ministry. They will be offering this throughout the nation, so if any of you are interested, be sure to take them up on it. They cover part of the costs, which is very generous.
I also want to thank all of you who gave me support; donations, guidance, prayers and finances. There would be little point to this concert if it weren't for you. Thank you for believing in me and the ministry God has for me.
Emily
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