Riding the Train

I rode the train yesterday. This was my second time on the train, but the first time by myself. I have been terrified to give this a go, but finally decided it was time to face my fear. I realize this sounds really lame to be afraid of riding the train. Had you heard the stories I was told the first week I was here and been given the same warnings, you too would have been afraid. I am also aware that South Africa is number one in muggings and rape. For the first few weeks I wouldn’t even open my mouth when walking anywhere; my roommate had told me that my accent made me more of a target than I already was. I wouldn’t even walk to the market for a couple of weeks. (I eventually needed to buy food.) I was told never to walk around my neighborhood and definitely don’t go in the subway by myself.

It’s amazing how fear can blind, cripple and lie to us. I let fear keep me immobilized for weeks. I only would leave the house when necessary or with other people. This made it so that I was bored, lonely, had cabin fever and was completely ineffective for the Lord. One day I realized that I need my mouth to share the gospel and despite how dangerous it may be, I only have one accent and by golly I was gonna use it for the Lord. Shoot, who can harm me anyways when I am speaking for the Lord? I’m more protected when I am speaking than when I am not, for it shoots through the warfare.

Since the guys came to Observatory to do street ministry and claimed my neighborhood for the Lord, I have been much braver to try all these different ‘scary’ things. I learned that night that my neighborhood is not that scary, it belongs to the Lord and there is sooo much more here than I realized. It opened a window for me. I have now walked and jogged all over my neighborhood and feel so much more refreshed because of it.

Getting up the nerve to ride the train yesterday opened the door – wide, too. I don’t have a phone and I don’t have a clue where I am going or even what I am doing much of the time. I was afraid less of the people & more of getting lost while not being able to call for help. I decided to bring some phone numbers with me and money to buy a calling card, if necessary. I printed out a map of the trains that I hadn’t realized I had saved on my computer and asked lots of directions.

By the time I headed out I was so peaceful that when a guy sat next to me and asked what time the next train was coming I told him that I don’t know, I just hope it’s taking me where I need to go. I didn’t even know what time it was. The guy told me he wished that he could be as relaxed as me. Funny, he should have seen me just hours before.

It was so much fun and freeing! God even provided me with a tour guide. I am no longer scared to go anywhere by myself. It feels great to be more self-sufficient, not having to depend on everyone else even for transportation. I feel as if I have the whole world, or at least Cape Town, at my finger tips. It’s great!

Lord, help me to remember these things each time I am afraid to step out of my comfort zone and try something new.